The Other Day

I saw you again the other day.
After so many years gone by, it seemed comprehensible that I would forget you...
You sat right across me,
on the train that wheezed by untold destinations we would never speak of.
You stared and I stared back.
No recognition.

You had the same contours...
your eyes, old and tired.
You lips, dry and set.
Your hair, dark and gray.
Not a day older than the last time I saw you...
not a day older, in my mind...
and yet, here you are frail and worn.
The years have gone by.

I searched and searched into your face,
taking the painstaking stranger glances,
fearful you would bark me off as a stalker,
and yet, hopeful you would recognize me.

It was too much to hope for.
The years have gone by.

It seemed comprehensible that I would forget you...
You sat right across me,
on the train that wheezed by untold destinations we would never speak of.
You stared and I stared back.
Not an atom of recognition.

Ours.

Like two birds intertwined

You at the center

Me at the circumference

Our line of sight being

The ever-guiding force

That binds us together…

Ours wasn’t that kind.

Ours wasn’t the kind

That leads to aisles

Or leads to babies

Or leads to

Seventy-year-old couple stories

Although I thought It was.

Although you wished it was.

Although we prayed it was.

Ours wasn’t the kind

That strengthens through the thick-and-thin

That smiles through the storm of distance

That threatens the tide of time.

Ours was the kind,

That lasts for a season.

The season that reveals the rust

Covering our innermost gold.

The season that preps for the

Purging hand of the blacksmith.

Ours was the kind that preps

For the benefactor

That was given the ten talents.

Ours was the kind that made us

Shake our hands in the sky and ask what

Was imperfect.

Ours was the kind that opened

Our eyes

Into

Knowing

That

We

Deserved

Not

What

We

Thought

We

Deserved

But

What

The

Maker

Wills

Instead.

So on that porchy Sunday afternoon,

That your son asks you about that love

That wasn’t given the grace to be…

Tell him ours wasn’t the kind to separate the chaff from the grain.

Tell him ours was the kind that sowed the seeds instead.

The kind that made you predict the weather wrong.

The kind that made you grow.

And on that cold and dry Sunday afternoon,

I’ll tell my daughter that the love now,

The love with her father,

Is the kind.

The kind one’d think

They’d never have

Because they were blinded

By the sights that we saw.

The love now,

Is what we’d thought we had.

The love now beat ours ten folds down.

Because the love now

Was what the blacksmith designed from the beginning of time.

usa la ga - Thankyou

Ga sinda yaddi pila usa la ga sosai wa - You know I haven’t said thank you enough…

Falls so gruesome and

Dangerous…

You always lessened the impact.

Tears, overflowing

And overwhelming,

Washing over like a flood…

You always wiped them away.

Pain so deep, so bitter…

Engulfing and blinding,

Had me at the lowest level of the pit…

You always healed to the core.

No scars.

No painful recollections.

No bandaged fragments.

As though I was never down there.

And so for the many people

You’ve sent my way…

And so for the many paths

You’ve let me thread…

And so for the many things

You’ve let me have…

And so for the many more

Situations I’m about to dive into…

I just want to say…

usa la ga Yesu…. Hamthakurna!!! – Thankyou Jesus – My God!!!

*** In italics – Bura language from Borno and Adamawa States, Nigeria. 

Clay, Glass and the fragile things...

Clay breaks you know,

And yet the Potter uses it to mold.

Glass shatters you know,

And yet the glass smith makes his finest glassware from it.

And when the clay and glass breaks,

The helpless thing just lays there,

Hoping to fix itself.

And yet the Maker ignores the object’s stubbornness,

In his expertise, he fixes it,

Molds it, melts it back to being in a more fit condition.

I am Your clay,

I am Your glass.

And I have been stubborn.

I have refused to accept your beckoning peace.

I have refused to accept your everlasting answer…

Everlasting will…

Hear me now,

As You tenderly mold,

And melt me continually perfecting

Me to be who You will me to be…

Please be patient…

You know am the most stiff-necked there ever was…

Please be patient…

As you wait for me to realize that You ever stand as You have always been…

Unchangeable and Loving…

To continually accept Your Sovereignty

As I battle with myself…

I accept Maker…

I accept…

Help me stand firm on this…

So summer has been going great. Am in the sports rage mood, with all the NBA finals going on and the world cup (YAY!!!). In addition to that, I love Boston, love the lab am in… awesome folks J My summer plans have also been coming along, its been really hard to not eat meat... you’d be surprised how difficult it is to eat outside (smh I now respect vegetarians and vegans!), God has been faithful in that respect too… I have been enjoying my cooking, which I ordinarily hate on a normal day. My studying is also picking up (painfully slowly).  The gym… yeah, so I think I overdid it because at a point I was going almost everyday, and I ended up with lower abdomen pains… so I am on a hiatus till next week. My summer reading list is getting there too, am currently on C.S Lewis’ ‘Screwtape Letters’… ooouuu and I got this book by Ron Currie Jr. called ‘God is dead’… it’s a fictional work, I will probably update you all on what it is about… am excited for that one. And with Baba God… let’s just say its definitely not a time of complacency… he is continually stretching me… and I am definitely glad. I am also so glad that I was introduced to this blogging atmosphere, I can’t explain how many times through the past week just reading a couple of blog posts or some tweets and telling you how encouraged I have been. So thank you, because in one way or another God is using you to stretch and mold me. Keep on letting Him use you.

Have a great blessed ahead of you…  and keep living out His word on this side of heaven. 

me, you and Him.

There is me,
Then there is you...

There is us...
then them.

We hold on tight,
like intertwined birds,
scared to fend off the familiar,
scared to let Him...

I am scared,
you are scared...
It seems as though he shakes it all to the roots...

You give him an eel, and he takes the mile.
He turns it upside down and vibrates it to the core.
Everything not rooted falls away...
Maybe we'll even fall off eachother...

He shakes us to the core...
such that we aren't holding onto eachother,
such that we end up holding onto Him...

And only Him...
we weren't meant to hold onto eachother only,
you and me.
It was always supposed to be me, you and Him...
always.

...So let's let Him shake us.

...

"I say 'Amen' and its still raining..."

And yet, they say YOU are the God that stills oceans,
parts the red sea and rose from the dead...

I choose to glorify and praise...
even though am numb from tears,
and scared from obstacles.

I've said 'Amen' and am still in my storm...

And YOU are still God.

I will still praise.

Right Where I want You to be

You wake up,
another day... another hustle.
You are going to see them,
You are going to see him.
You are going to bustle and its going to hurt.

They ask about him,
they ask about them.
They ask about you.
What do they care?

You look at them,
you look at him,
you look at her,
you look... and you stare...
and you salivate.
That should have been you.

What happened to you?

You should have been taller,
you should have been richer,
you should have been smarter...

you should be smarter,
you should be richer,
you should be taller...

you gnaw in pain.
you are not where you should have been at.
you messed it up.

And Yet, He says:
"You are Right Where I Want You to be."

"Patience..." He says, "...Patience..."

And so you wait:
"I am right where HE wants me to be."



Source: http://ninarose.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/got-patience-680x5101.jpg

'The one'

There is all this talk about finding 'The one',
you know... your one true love.
They say he will come riding on a horse,
some say he will be fully geared on a armor,
with long beautiful silky flaming hair...
breathtaking...

And when you find him,
you will share the most intimate ever,
It will be like fireworks...
stars in the sky and all...

Some say there is only one out there you know -
the perfect soulmate.

The one that no one can replace,
completes all your sentences,
thinks like you... understands your innermost being.

I don't believe a word of it.

The one doesn't exist.

The One does exist.
Nope, no armor - in fact, nothing about him is physically attractive.
No horse - He rode a donkey, sorry.
No breathtaking fireworks or flaming beautiful hair...

No, none of that...
Just him, his love...
simple, yet seemingly foolish.

The One that calms all the storms in me and you.
The One that saw the end of your life before it even became a zygote.
The One that saw the thought before it became a sentence.
The One who understands, satisfies, loves and connects more that the supposed 'the one'.

Enjoy One of my Current Favorite Songs - Rest In You - Hillsong

P.S On the Summer pledge, so far so good... coming along, haven't broken any yet... hopefully it keeps coming along by His Grace.

Waiting

You say wait...

But there is this thing about waiting...

I am happy, for a while...

happiness turns to expectation...

with each expectation, hope raises...

with each raise in hopes not met,

they get dashed...

my hopes then turn to flickers.

Yet, You say wait...

But the thing about waiting is that...

I grow weary and tired.

My flickers of hope wane 

with each downturn...

Hope turns into doubt...

Its so horrible being there...

because I doubt even the air I breathe.

You still say wait...

But the thing about waiting is that...

My doubts turn into fears,

fears so enormous and gigantic,

they engulf and overwhelm me...

so much so that I think am holding my last breath...

Yet You still want me to wait...

But there is this thing about waiting...

What do I do while I wait?

How do I not go through the motions?

Wouldn't it be horrible if all I lived my life for was just what I was waiting for?

How about living for something bigger than the expectation?

So while I am still clinging to the hem of Your garment,

teach me how to wait...

I will keep on waiting.

I do hope you have all had the start to a pleasant week. You know, I woke up yesterday feeling miserable, kind of like one of those old feelings you thought you had conquered a long time ago. That feeling alone triggered so much fear and doubt that i felt unbalanced through today... but you know what? The devil is a liar! Indeed, all that has been washed anew is a new creation. I just had so many fears about many unfulfilled paths I am still waiting and trusting God for, and I had let that take a huge toll on me. Thank His Name for the Comforter that sustains us all. I just want you to know that no matter what area of your life you may be waiting on Him for, remember that our strength will continue to rise as we wait on Him. The hardest part is that waiting period, and what we do as we wait counts, because that is the period of refining and molding. So as you wait, how are you going to let Him refine you?

http://www.artbywicks.com/waiting%20in%20repose%20with%20texture.jpg

It Rains.

It rains,
sometimes droplets,
sometimes torrents.

And as each drop falls
on my uncovered head,
As each drop threatens
to soak my just dried dress,
I stare at the passers-by...
hoping, wishing...


Would they lend me an umbrella?
Would they share an umbrella?
Would they stand with me?
Would they stand across from me?

Or would they just pass by?

The drops don't stop,
it goes on longer than I imagined.
It affects the ones that decide to stand with me,
now they don't have umbrellas either.

Where is that ray of sunshine of Yours?
Wasn't it supposed to come after the rain?
How much longer till the rain stops?

We'll be waiting till the rain ceases.

~Dedicated to B~

    I hope you are all having a splendid Easter. I know I am. I am so excited because this is the first Easter that I have seen Christ in a different light. It used to be so mechanical, 'claiming' to celebrate him because of his love. Honestly, I never understood what that love meant. I still don't fully understand... I guess I can only hope to one day comprehend the full extent of His love.
    Have a blessed week and remember that no matter what phase you are passing through right now, there is always light at the end of the tunnel!

http://www.thestylehouse.ca/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/weather-picture-photo-mist-rain-reddeath.jpg

Today

Today was one of those days,

hair gone wrong,

Wrong shoes,

Slipped and fell,

Brusied so bad…

Today was one of those days,

Didn’t go to the bathroom stall this time,

Came back to my room,

And hid under my table,

Held myself and let the tears flow...

Today was one of those days,

Got of the phone,

With the person I call by one of your

synonymns,

He laughed and said what you would say,

“Don’t worry, it’ll work out…”

Just like that…

Today was one of those days,

As the tears flowed,

And I refused to wipe them,

I remembered the last time

I felt scared and alone,

And how you out a smile

On my face…

Today was one of those days…

Where I have the power to

Refuse to let it turn into one of those days…

And do I trust,

And look up to you,

Remembering one of those days

When you showed me that

You are the one who conquered

Not only death,

But this life of flesh as well…

Today was one of those days…

http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs11/i/2006/177/8/e/Girl_Crying_by_l0veIsFr3.jpg

Wants

Am blocked,
Am stumbling,
Am thinking of him...

Am lazy,
Am tired,
Am thinking of cash,

That green is so slippery,
makes me want to run
to a nation of multicolored bills,
the red, green, blue and so on...
the Nairas... at least they are ever flowing

Am sick,
with a cold,
Am in need of warmth...

My daddy would glaze
that vapor rub over my back and head,
and make me inhale the steam...
Alas, here in my boxed apartment,
all i can do is think of my flu germs,
and wish i was back home

Am down,
Am falling to that place of reckless abandon,
and loathing again...

I could really use some help here,
like you could use a bolt of lightening...
and rain down some benjamins
or you could teleport me to the future,
to be with all my loved ones,
or you could simply rain down a vision,
for me to see how my answers will happen...

Am looking up,
up to you,
am fighting,
fighting to trust...

It takes so much more.

Found SOMEONE.

When am cold at night,
there is no blanket,
just the still air,
fresh... chilly,
it bites and pines at me.

Yet, YOU are there,
covering me,
laying over me,
protecting me,
being my immeasurable blanket.

I found SOMEONE.

When am sad,
feel like i have no one,
it hurts,
because am scared,
that there really is no one.

Yet, YOU are there,
being with me,
standing next to me,
providing people,
to be someone.

I found SOMEONE.

When am sick,
sick with the things
i long for...
for him,
for them,
for you...

Yet, YOU are there,
comforting me,
telling me that
YOU can be all i need,
more than enough.

I found SOMEONE.

I had been searching you know,
looking all over, in different places,
at different times,
in all the wrong things,
in all the wrong someones...

Yet, YOU were there the whole time,
staring me in the face the whole time,
waiting for me the whole time,
to accept your call...
can't believe i took so long.

I found SOMEONE.

The beautiful thing now,
is that i find you everywhere i look,
i imagine YOUR face,
every now and then,
thinking of how long its going to take,
thinking of the walk i must
continue till I get to see YOU
that one day....

Yet, YOU still cheer me on,
telling me to keep holding on,
till we get there...
YOU convince me that every face
i stumble on is a reflection of YOU,
so i try to see you in every someone...

I will keep trying...
till i finally see you...
untill...

I see YOU.

Late Bloomer.

All the flowers,
purple, yellow, red, pink, white and green...
they all blossomed one after another
Some silently, some loudly...
Some late.

She was late.
She was lilac
She was late.
She was a mix.

They laughed,
because she didn't know
the world was full of evil men.
They laughed,
because she didn't know
that fantasies were...

Fantasies had been seen
by the others as futile.
The red decided to mix
with white.
The green mixed with
purple.
They all mixed and mixed
and laughed as she kept
on.

She kept on
in the fantasy,
hoping that her
color would shade in soon.

She was late.
She was lilac
She was late.
She was a mix.

And when she became full,
full she became,
oozing out shades of deep
luscious lilac...
Then the fantasies left.
All she had left,
was the luscious lilac
that was going to
fade-out with time.

She was late.
She was lilac
She was late.
She was a mix.

YOU

You see there is a problem I have,
One that I can’t get rid of,
One that I can’t solve

It seeps through my soul,
Clenches through my heart,
Makes my legs shake uncontrollably,
Gets my heart to beat faster than a tigress after her prow,
And the speed of an eagle after its bait

I thought of getting it checked out you know,
Thought about calling in the hotlines about my risk,
Thought about talking to someone about it

But no matter whom I talked to it didn’t get better,
No matter what I described, it didn’t go away

I heard your laugh and it all stopped.

It wasn’t just the sound,
Like smooth caramel that dribbles delicately
Across carefully scooped vanilla ice-cream,
It wasn’t just like a housewife’s orgasm after years
Of depravity

You see there is a problem I have,
One that I can’t get rid of,
One that I can’t solve

It’s You.