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Sharing 7

I haven't shared His Word here in a while, but going through devotion this morning, I was reading Romans 7:13-25, and it just occurred to me, Apostle Paul was just like me, or vice versa. Verses 14 to 25 tell the whole story of struggles with sin, as we try and fail on our own, and learn the hard way what the solution is, and learn to depend on Him for the redemption of our bodies. The Christian life is one of war: war of the mind against the body, war of the spirit against the body, old self versus new self... realizing that justification is instant and sanctification a life long process. 


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14-20: We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 

And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 

As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 

For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 

For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 

Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21-25: So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 

For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

   So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature^[b] a slave to the law of sin.

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Acts of Faith: Our Story is “Though He Slay me, yet will I trust in Him”.

*** P.S. long post alert. And, I’m back… Sort of :) ***

         So… it is officially less than 3 weeks to my undergraduate graduation. It feels almost surreal because I can’t believe I am here. Castles may drop from the tallest mountains, and hearts may break and tears may be shed, it still doesn’t obviate the fact that I am here, and He is still God. A couple of days ago, my friend A and I were musing over the past five years. I was telling her about the very first day I came to UMBC. I came for my freshman orientation in June. Mind you I had accepted coming to UMBC without ever setting foot on the campus or knowing much about it (leap of faith yeah? Lol). Anyhow, I was staying at my guardian’s in Ohio, and he put me on a plane to Maryland, assuring me I’ll be fine as the Orientation officials would provide me with housing (no they don’t have housing for orientation). So I get here, present myself and tell them to give me lodging. They looked so shocked and worried as I explained my story and that I had nowhere to stay in Maryland. Needless to say, they ended up giving me a room in one of the apartments. Which was nice, I met two wonderful people that weekend and became more assured of my decision to come here. The following day sealed it for me – I knew this was the path I was supposed to take!

         Five years later, if I had known the stress and hurdles I had to cross to get here, I don’t think I would have taken the same path. But that is the beauty of not knowing, you take a chance, a risk… a leap – you may fall into soft landing or you may land on the hard wood and crack into pieces – you never know. Regardless of where you land, soft landing or hard wood, I still believe the Orchestrator of all things holds that path in His hands.

         I have three weeks left… so much to do in so little time. So much to feel with so little room… so much to reminisce over with buried memories…  over the next couple of weeks, I will be closing one of the craziest roller coasters i’ve had in my little over 22 years of existence, and open the flood gates of more years of craziness. And for all the tears – bitter and cheerful, all the laughter – shared, alone or silent, all the pain – needless, annoying or worrisome, all the joy and happiness and peace and growth and waiting and contemplation and frustrations and mistakes and regrets and hellos and good-byes and friends and strangers and acquaintances… I am grateful. I honestly wouldn’t be the [Mwajim] I am today… and I wouldn’t be well on the way to being crafted into the wonderful [Mwajim] I am meant to be.

         So I rise up in faith just like Job did and admist the reeling storm proclaim that although I am scared, “although He slay me, yet will I put my trust in Him”. And that for me my dear people is my story… the girl who lives on the side lines, staking it all… the girl who takes a gulp… and dives and still wants to keep her eyes fixated on Him despite the mix of emotions and festivities.

So tell me, How are You? 
Feel free to drop in prayer requests in my comments, i'm trying to learn how to intercede for people :)

Break-In-Transmission

while I let life sit me down and i learn my way back to HIM and the me centered there.

I will be back - i promise.

Acts of Faith: On Being a Wreck and Upside Down Part 3

            I survived yesterday... the cold still isn't gone.. but *shrugs* regardless I must still move on. So I took off today and fixed up the room i moved into... *i moved into a new apartment*.  As I rummaged through my stuff, i found a letter I wrote to myself just before my freshman year. I kept it up on my desk all through years 1 to 3 of college except these past 2 years... don't know why I didn't put it back up afterwards. But reading it made me smile... that smile of contentment... that little girl then didn't know what lay ahead as she typed that and yet, she still forged ahead... *sigh* God is good, when i think of how far He has brought me. 

p.s. and yes, now you know my real name. But please, continue to refer to me by my pseudoname :)

And speaking of God...  He and I are having another tussle... I haven't spent quality time with Him over the past couple of days... I've felt too disorganized as well... disorganized in this sense ->

 
   And I was going to continue in this downward spiral you know, i might as well and wait for God to send a Rambo or something to clean up my room and unpack, cure me of my cold/whatever it is I have, convince me to be genuinely joyful because change is okay and maybe even pay my bills? Okay i am definitely asking for too much. However, in the words of Rev. D. Martyn Llyod-Jones "...defy yourself..." And so i did. I have the choice after all, He has given me that much. And so step 1 of getting back on track was the room ---> 

 Step 2 --> Taking better care of myself: physically, emotionally, spiritually... all the 'llys' you can think of. My friend D put it this way: "You've been to the mountain too many times already these past couple of weeks, you need to start enjoying life"... I concur. I'm always looking at the glass half-empty rather than half-full. 

So here is to me relaxing and taking life easy *learning how to take life easy* henceforth by His grace. Yes, raise your glasses or cups of water or something to that :D
 

Currently...

Today's weather is absolutely gorgeous... feels like this --->

Sadly, this is how i feel inside ---->

  
I just want to run away from it all... and in the rain too... like these carefree children, not worrying about what tomorrow may bring. Unfortunately, i can't do that, but suck up to life and take the remaining 2 of my 3 exams today :)

And not to forget that i am sick with a bad cough!


Song of the moment - Asa's Subway


7p.m. can't come any faster :p

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Something I will tell my Daughter earlier on... and something I wish we are all told as teenagers :)