Monday, July 25, 2011

Invictus


William Ernest Henley. 1849–1903
Invictus

OUT of the night that covers me,
  Black as the Pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
  For my unconquerable soul.
  
In the fell clutch of circumstance
  I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of change
  My head is bloody, but unbowed.
  
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
  Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
  Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
  
It matters not how strait the gate,
  How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
  I am the captain of my soul.
 
Invictus means "Unconquerable", and yes, it is inspired by the movie... and the poem. 

I'm beginning to learn the art of learning how to dance lividly in the blasting rays of sunlight that hoist our skies in this weather.  Yes, your payers have kept me at bay, and your loving comments on my last post placed a smile on my face - thank you :) 

I'm enjoying my first rotation and the beginnings of graduate school - every second of it. Sometimes, I get frightened at the reality of it... and think maybe I'm too young for this... or not ready... and then by the end of the day, I realize I want nothing more at this time of my life! This is part of His calling for me :D

Everything is all set for my move to my home institution for my year of classes! It all fell together perfectly... like an orchestrated ensemble. I have a Great Orchestrator on my side after all.

My friend D. made me realize i'm 20 feet under holding onto a ship that has sunk, and somehow, even though I know it has sunk, I'm the lone passenger trying to analyze why it sunk. I've fallen into the art of repeatedly telling myself truths to help me let go. I have a whole lifetime ahead of me... a lifetime where I must allow myself to emerge an Invicta - unconquerable. If I'm going to make it through this life victorious, I must allow "letting-go" become my middle name. 

Yes, I have the outline of my new blog about my new life - as a novice neuroscientist-in-training. I'm doodling over what my first post should be. Mostly because I feel so 'novicey' about what to post. I have much to say, I want to chronicle everything and look back and laugh about how naive I was when I started... I keep stalling. 

I've been dreaming bigger for the past couple of days. It feels like I have the world at my finger tips all over again - like when I first started college. *sigh* must be the novelty of it all.


I should go to bed now... but the fact that I've rediscovered 'The Office' makes it hard. 

Till another time my friends. 

Later.

4 comments:

  1. Keep dreaming Sis... God gave you the dream. The bible says, "he has put eternity in our hearts". Like I always say; "when you dream, let your calculations fail you."

    God will see you through grad school.. U can do it! Yes, you can!

    Blessings, Sis.

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  2. Isn't it wonderful that if anyone should ask me if I know of a neuroscientist, I can boldly answer, "Yes?" Congratulations, Mwajim...and yes, yes, yes...you are unconquerable, not because you are the captain of your soul, but Your Father is. He has already seen the end from the beginning, and knows how to steer the ship of His children towards the right (good) place. 

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  3. ... Well... in 5-6 years, YES then you can say you def. know a Neuroscientist by His Grace. For now, just a neuroscientist-in-training :D Thanks for the encouragement Jaycee!

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  4. Amen oooo :D Thanks!

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