Sunday, October 31, 2010

Sharing 1

 "Come on, let's go back to God. He hurt us, but he'll heal us.
He hit us hard, 
   but he'll put us right again.
In a couple of days we'll feel better. 
   By the third day he'll have made us brand-new,
Alive and on our feet, 
   fit to face him.
We're ready to study God, 
   eager for God-knowledge.
As sure as dawn breaks, 
   so sure is his daily arrival.
He comes as rain comes, 
   as spring rain refreshing the ground."

"What am I to do with you, Ephraim?
   What do I make of you, Judah?
Your declarations of love last no longer
   than morning mist and predawn dew.
That's why I use prophets to shake you to attention,
   why my words cut you to the quick:
To wake you up to my judgment
   blazing like light.

I'm after love that lasts, not more religion.
   I want you to know God, not go to more prayer meetings.

You broke the covenant—just like Adam!
   You broke faith with me—ungrateful wretches!

Hosea 6:1-7 (The Message)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Being In-Love.

p.s. this is a long post :D

I have this image in my head of the kind of “being in-love” state I want to partake in. There was/is/will be (your pick) a man. And then there would be me – a woman. We would have this electric union of souls where he understands my very core, and I understand his. It is like one look at him and I just feel safe and know that all I want to complain and whine about will be received without judgment. I would sit and pine about all my fears, and worries; and he would listen.  I would share every shred of joy and happiness with him – literally every second. I would punch and push and beat him – and of course he wouldn’t mind and he would take it all in… you know?
         Sound familiar yet?
         I have this idealized vision of someone that satisfies me to my very soul. Its like we are always in sync. One that I can love and trust without restraint. The perfect person who loves me to perfection – he would never fail…
And that is just where the problem lays – my expectations.
         I expect him to do everything perfectly, and yet, I still understand my perfection can only go as far because I’m human. I don’t expect him to be imperfect.
         I have been sick with this expectation for years. Measuring people up to an idealized vision of what I want my relations with people to be like. In every corner that friendships or relationships come from, I extrapolate an image of receiving undying trust and love without fail. I place them in a ‘God-box’… and when they fail – of course, I get bitter.
           I was reading this post and this one from a series on Grace from Emily’s blog  ‘Chatting at the Sky’ when it hit me. My ideology of perfection streams from my assumption that they won’t fail. Yes, I should be optimistic and open-minded about people – I ought to be. However, how about that room for failure? Why am I so taken aback when people’s reality gets projected into my idealistic state?
         And the craving for perfect love – that craving isn’t meant to be satisfied by another human being. It was never meant to be. Yes, I was created with this craving, longing and desire to have unrequited love – we all deserve unconditional love – someone we can run to no matter how many times we have fallen. We deserve someone to embrace us un-relentlessly without judgment. But the thing is that I can’t love anybody un-relentlessly – I get tired. I can’t love without internal grumblings (why must it be me ehh?).  I can’t always be there. And, if I can’t why would I expect another human being – fallible, as I am to do likewise?
         This is where He comes in. Perfection itself. Love itself. Grace consumed with justice. Un-relentless, never failing, always-there-kind-of-love – the one where you scream and yell and curse and question… and HE STILL TAKES YOU BACK. The one where you squander all your wealth and forget your worth – and HE STILL TREATS YOU LIKE RARE DIAMOND. The kind where you wish to be satisfied and over-flowing with more, and He never tires of giving more. Its like what Jesus said to the Samaritan woman (My favorite Bible story by the way) in John 4:13-14 (NIV): “Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."”
This is the kind of yearning that David spoke of in Psalms 42: 1-2 (NIV):
“As the deer pants for streams of water,
   so my soul pants for you, O God.
  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. 
When can I go and meet with God”
The kind of yearning only God can satisfy.
My prayer is that you recognize this yearning – and no, I’m not saying that a yearning to be married or in a relationship or to have friends is a masked yearning for God, because God did create a yearning for companionship in us for a reason – Genesis 2:18 (NIV): The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." I am talking about that deep-rooted desire that we have of unreasonable expectations from people (or am I the only one who has this?). I am talking that ridiculous need for someone to satisfy, of which when we discover that that person/thing can’t meet up, we become so down trodden and empty (and I know you know what I’m talking about). This desire can’t be met or satisfied by anyone or anything other than Christ Jesus – God made flesh. And it is only by understanding that, and believing Him and letting Him take care of my unreasonable and broken expectations from people that I can then come to truly love people unconditionally. It is only then that I can learn to truly see people as what they are – fallible as I am and allow room for failures - graciously. Understanding that He alone satisfies my out-this-world expectations and not projecting that on someone else or something else makes it easier to engage in relationships and friendships and expect that I don’t have to worry about being hurt because my expectations are in the right place.
So back to my prayer – that you recognize this desire and let God fulfill that desire for you. That your friendships, relationships and marriages are renewed and restored with the right expectations and that you allow room for failures and forgiveness just as He graciously forgives and forgets.

P.S. I will be away this weekend for my fellowship’s fall retreat (IVCF)… woooooaaaaahhhh!!!
I’m soooo excited. If you’ve ever been to a campus fellowship retreat, you’ll understand.

Have yourself a beautiful weekend :D 

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Turnover Tuesdays III - Cycle


Flickers of light.
Increased smiles.
Shadows in the dark.

Tandems of happenings that make you want to fast-forward through life.
You’ll be ashamed when you press that button though.

Ashamed that you just existed… just went through the motions.

When you throw pebbles, throw them angrily.
When you shed tears, shed them emphatically.
When you share laughter, share cheerfully.
When you see autumn, embrace it forcefully.

Regardless, light still follows the dark.
Why not go through the cycle with a smile on your face?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Turnover Tuesdays II - Regrets

I wish I hadn’t met him
…I wish I hadn’t met her
…I wish I hadn’t met them

Wishful wishes that make you forget the beauty of the red autumn leaves that fall carelessly to the will of the Maker.

Wishful wishes that mask regrets on a sunny afternoon… one of the last few before the absence of the sun.

…I wish he hadn’t left
…I wish she hadn’t left
…I wish I hadn’t left

you sit and you wish upon stars in broad day light. If you hadn’t taken those paths you wouldn’t be sitting still watching the autumn leaves fall, appreciating the beauty of the current cycle.

Red autumn leaves fall… people fall away. Winter comes, just like a trying period that always hits relationships. When spring comes, new leaves sprout up – stronger and more beautiful than the previous season. After all trying periods, relationships meant to be do grow stronger – are still present. Those that fall away – like the red autumn leaves, were never meant to stay in the first place. Have no regrets.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Acts of Faith: Stepping-Out Part 6

Finally Here -----> 

Image w/out annotated circle from:

Thursday, October 7, 2010

At the moment...

... of school, graduate school applications, thinking/plotting the future, missing home, realizing-how-hard-life-is-at-night... uuuggghhhh!


On the flip side this is a mood lifter!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

My Will vs HIS Will

Somehow, over the past couple of days, I’ve forgotten my life lesson of 2010 extravaganza. I’ve fallen prey to idle self-imposed ambitions that lead to swirly directionless dreams – the kind you spend conjuring up in your imaginative box for years and wake up heartbroken because the Maker decided its time you woke up to His reality.

I’ve been telling myself the past couple of weeks that I’ve learnt my life lesson. I’ve sat myself down through different personal therapies where I’ve written my mistakes, regrets, appreciations and apologies. And yet, here I am in a certain corner where shadows of the past threaten to lurk back in, only this time in the shape of a new box. The difference is this time I see my old self and what she would have potentially done… I see the mistakes she made… I see how fast she sped… I see how she could ruin this new box (if it should turn into a box).

Then I realize that the box could either be my will or His. I could struggle the old way again – defy Him and His plans and wisk away in an imaginative swirl of bad balls and wrong pitching. Or… I could just surrender to Him. One of the girls from my small group bible study last night said something to me about how worrying is a testament to our faith. I could worry like the past couple of Alice-In-Wonderland-boxed-up years and yell at Him for misplaced ambitions… Or I could just surrender and see what crazy plan He has in store… Surrendering is easier no? I mean who likes to be in control right?


I want to be in control – but I screw up – ALL THE TIME! I’m obviously a bad driver.
That being said, I’m going to wear on my fall boots and follow after Him in the windy weather as He keeps urging that going with what is on ground… pitching with faith… pitching with peace is best. 

Monday, October 4, 2010

You :D

Have a Great Week – You DESERVE IT!!!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Felicity Fridays I

The fifth day of the week - synonymous with celebration. We celebrate that we’ve gotten through a week of rains, drought, storms, famine, snowstorms or avalanches – depending on what part of the world you live in. we celebrate that two solid days are given to sleep in, again, depending on what part of the world you live in. We celebrate that we’ve cried, laughed, screamed, yelled, smiled, pouted, slept and lazily risen up through the past 5 solid days. We celebrate that God is ever willing to keep seeing us through. We celebrate that He wants us to live and not just exist. We celebrate that He wants us to continually scale through with strength and armor from Him for each day of the week.

Here is a pleasant laugh I want to share with you (not my work, by Dales Designs) -

Have a Great Weekend :D