"Me nene laiyafin zaman lafiya?" (What is the crime in living in peace?) Part 1

          I've been resisting the urge to write a post about #occupyNigeria or the bomb blasts in the North of Nigeria for partly two main reasons:
         I didn't want to write a post ranting about the need for change in Nigeria when I've seen the need for change since I was four. I lived in Kano, Nigeria from ages 4 to 17, and I've known that corruption and violence eats at the very core of our daily living. I didn't want to write a post in anger knowing that there is possibly nothing that I can do about it. Do I want change in Nigeria? Yes, I do. Do I want peace? Yes, I do. The question is how do we enact that change? I am not talking about about another inflated political campaign to pull in the reins of corruption or another NGO in the name of saving motherless babies or another strike that backs down in the face of government threats or underhand deals. I am talking about change that begins at the very core of who we are as Nigerians... In our homes, in our schools, and in our interactions... How do we change the mindsets of people when we were raised to believe we are different? I'm a Bura girl from Garkida, Adamawa State. I'm also a christian. I remember growing up with an internal struggle of going with cues from society on choosing friends either from my religion or my place of origin. Soon I learnt to categorize people as being either from Arewa or Kudu (north or south), and based on being either Muslim or Christian. My question is how do we change that mindset? How do we change the very core of instruction that automates us to categorize people based on states of origin or religion. Nigeria is diverse, hugely diverse with over 160 million people and 700 different language groups: our strength and our very weakness. How do we get to a phase where I am not just Bura and Christian, you are not just Yourba, Igbo or Hausa or Nupe, or Jukun or Marghi or Kanuri or Tarok or Chip or Chibok and either Muslim or Christian but we are all just freaking Nigerians??? How do we enact such change?
        My second reason is that I'm mostly pessimistic and minutely optimistic about Nigeria. I believe that change is possible... I know that change is possible, but I also know that it is impossible for change to happen if the same cycle continues. You can enact as many revolutions as you want, you have have as long a strike as you want but the minute we ignore the fact that change needs to come from within, the same cycle of corruption and violence will continue. We need a revolution on how we think of ourselves and how we think of each other - as Nigerians! This is our country, and sadly even though I'm writing this from the States, I'm reminded of the grim reality of the fact that millions do not have another country. If we don't repair it, if we don't want the good of it for ourselves, the British or the Americans or the Arabs are not going to come and repair it for us. We have to be the change we want to see - we have to take matters into our own hands if Nigeria is going to be habitable. And no, I'm not speaking of violence - I'm speaking of a change of heart, a change of mindset.
        I've turned this post into a rant because I don't know how to do this. I don't know how we can go about enacting change in the way we view each other. I don't know how as a people we can return to the very grassroots for a change of societal view.
        I just got off the phone with my sister and the rest of my family in Kano after hearing about the 20 serial bombings that happened today and I reached a crack point. Between having flashes of fear that I would lose my family, and not knowing how they were doing, I felt a rush of anger and panic. I tried to pray, and I couldn't. And the thing was everyone I was with on the phone kept mentioning prayer... I mean I know what prayer is... I've been doing that for most of my life... fasting and praying and pleading with God for change. That is what all Christians in the north of Nigeria specialize in - praying for peace in the North. We probably all have a Ph.D in it now. In my anger, I asked Him feeling so betrayed again: "Where are you? and What are you doing? And why do you let innocent people keep dying? Why all this fear for all these years?" In moments like this, I stand like the disciples confused at the mission of Christ. While they thought He came to rescue them from Roman rule, I stand wondering that if He has said it is finished then why are we still here... still struggling? It is hard looking at the light of Christ in the midst of fear and panic... Despite all of this... despite the walls crumbling and fleeing and doubts and so much frustration the truth is where will we run to? And I also mean this practically for Christians in the north? Where will we flee to when that has been our home for years? And our living?
And despite all this still, I stand like Peter asking that to whom shall we turn to except God? The first verses of Psalm 23 provide comfort in these times, and I'm also reminded of Psalm 91 reminding me that the Lord is our guide, our guard, our shield, our refuge and our everything... So yes, I know we ought to be on our knees - praying as always, and yet, It is enough. Something has to change.

There is no crime in peace.

And with that, I now take my stand publicly. I am #occupyNigeria. Enough is enough!