Sunday, June 17, 2012

Acts of Faith: On Friends and Fathers!

       I've always been someone surrounded by friends... not acquaintances that I casually know... or 'fillers' to talk to... I mean actual friends that I can connect with... people that I can talk to about what is really on my heart and they instantly light up and say: "Hey! I know EXACTLY what you are talking about'. And I want to believe that this is the same for everyone... I mean everyone does have a friend or two that understands when they lay bare their troubles right? I know I'm wrong to say/assume that.
     I'm also wrong to take the fact that I have some awesome individuals in my life for granted. I've never been a social butterfly... While I do have bursts of 'outgoing energy' during which I can fluter around and say things that may or may not matter to me, I've always and will always be the "I-want-to-sit-and-talk-to-you-over-a-cup-of-tea" kind of gal. And because I've had some awesome people in my life... some from high school... and currently, most from college... I think somehow I just always assumed everywhere I moved to, I would always meet an awesome bunch of people... or that I would instantly connect with other people... HA! Naivety... I know! I think the past year has taught me, quite solidly, that you hold onto old friends as they are part of your bedrock... even when you wean in with new friends. Maybe it was part of the process of graduating from college, but my first year of graduate school saw me missing my friends... a lot. I saw myself comparing new relationships to old ones... and looking for the same connection I had with my old friends in new ones... and honestly... it was lonely. Nothing as lonely as chasing an old vision. I went on in this repetitive cycle for a while... and then it hit me... I do have friends with the right connection that I am looking for... why try to fix something that isn't broken? I know this may sound obvious to many out there, but for me, it was a lesson in the making. I already had people that understood my qualms and my weird ways and quite frankly even if they thought was absurd, still accept me the way I am. *Exhale*
       So in a way, this is a thank you post... to friends especially old ones who are still in my life. I'm not one for cliches as they irk me... (seriously, if you want to hit a button of mine, tell me a cliche phrase... I'll do something mean to you in my mind's eye lol) but here goes... as the cliched saying goes by Bernard Baruch:  "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind". I know there is also another saying that no one is indispensable, but it is crazy to think that people are replaceable. You may replace a role someone played in your life, but you can never replace that exact bond you shared with them... So in my efforts to navigate life socially, I've learnt the hard way that I do have awesome people in my life that play important roles, and that these friendships need to be continually fostered.
        Therefore... a toast! To friends past and present with whom I share an irreplaceable bond - I pray it goes on till death do us apart. To friends whom I've fallen out with, lost touch with or just fallen to the way side... we may or may not miss each other... and it is okay - if we need to be in each other's lives again, it'll happen. To future friends or those currently in the process of bond formation... I hope it turns out to be true friendship that lasts for a while. 
       On another note, Happy Father's day! Sadly, I'm not physically in the same location as my Dad this year :( I've been blessed with an amazing father that has encouraged me to be me, dream big and live larger than life... and I'll be forever grateful for that. One lesson I've learnt from the relationship with my Dad is realizing that I'm loved by him, and the rest of family - dearly. Knowing you are loved as an individual goes a long way in giving you a sense of completion... and in one way or the other, even when I forget, at the back of my mind is that lingering reminder is that I'm too blessed to be stressed (Yup, another cliched saying... imagine!). I'm beginning to realize that the relationship/perception of relationship I've had with my father has gone a long way in defining my perception of self and worth in the eyes of other people. I would like to believe the same applies for everyone... but hey, what do I know? While the prior statement I've made is true to an extent in a general sense, I also know that there are orphaned individuals out there or people from broken homes or those without a good father relationship... and despite that, they still have a great sense of self and worth. I truly admire those individuals, because they are the true troopers. That also goes to say that other people can also play the role of feeding you with a great sense of self and worth apart from your biological father and that is as legitimate as it gets as well. So I am aware that it is possible to not have a great father figure, and still turn out great! Regardless, the above is the lesson that  I've learnt over the past couple of years. My dad treats me like I'm worth it... being treated like I'm worth it has led me to know and realize that I am worth it... therefore, by default, non-compiling individuals and situations get shown the turn around :D 
In conclusion, a toast to all the fathers out there - past, present and future! 

And a toast to the Papa Father of all - God! Because, let's be real, everyone has a Father whether they realize it or not, and He is all around us.

Have a splendrous, and awesome week of joyfulness ahead of you! 


  1. Stop chasing an old vision in a new dream, just accept it the way it is. This is true in every sense of it, sadly not right but true. I just learnt that no matter how hard you try, you can't be at pace with everyone you once called a friend. Childhood friends in particular. soldier come, soldier go. I guess I've got a big part to be blamed about keeping in touch, but after a while truth hurts, life just happens and you're not at the same strata of it no more. Wanting that same kind of closeness in new friends will cut skin deep and may never happen. It's life, you can just live it and choose to be happy. And well yeah, a toast to true friends!!! Cheers mate

  2. i don't have many friends so i try to hold on to the ones i know i can trust. happy father's day to your dad. it's kinda hard to comment on your blog.

  3. Aww RAT.. I'm so blessed to have you as a friend.. Despite the plenty distance betweens us currently i know you'll always be one of those people that would always be in my life.. I know i don't say this enough but I LOVE YOU