Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Self-Esteem Series 3: Even if you've been mistreated and abused, YOU are still worth it!!!

My dear friends - D, A and I will be sharing our wonderful stories through the next couple of weeks of moments in times when we were pretty low and how He came through to remind us of truths that are solid irrespective of how we feel. I hope you read and enjoy and come back each week through the next week or so to share in our testimonies.  

You can read the first installment here
You can read the second installment here

Please sit back and enjoy the third installment of the series from my dear friend A. She writes the story of a dear friend of hers who has been through a lot, and regardless still upholds her self-worth. It must have been our sophomore year of college when I first heard this story from A... and I remembered thinking to myself that I would been a shell of a person if I were in her shoes. I know abuse is a rampant phenomenon that happens in households especially to young children. It is something that we would rather dust under our carpets than admit it to the whole world... I've admired Misty so much because the strength and sacrifice it takes to say this makes people realize that if this kind of past circumstance is hiding under their carpet, then they aren't alone... and not only that, but speaking up is one of the ways we can help prevent the cycle from continuing. 

You can catch A at her wonderful blog: http://bimpeoyewo-whatreallymatters.blogspot.com/
She is a champion of social justice which warms my heart so much, you should check her out and join in her efforts as well :)

The Misty Story

This is a name everyone at some point has heard me mention and if you are one of the few that have not heard the name well then today you will.  She’s such an inspiration and an example of someone who took her struggles and hardships and turned it into an opportunity to make a difference.

I can still remember that day vividly my life changed. It was a shocking day and I literally had to fight the tears from coming down my eyes. It was an 8a.m. Gender Women Studies class and I struggled to get out of bed to make it on time for class. We had been talking about rape and sexual assaults all week in class so I surprised when I saw Misty coming into my class. She was a good friend sorry I meant to say a great friend and more importantly a beautiful person.  She came in with her husband who sat in front to encourage and support her as she spoke.

She started to narrate her story of how when she was young her mom brought people to come and rape her and her siblings. This went on for a while until authorities found out and removed her and her siblings from the home. She was taken and placed in a foster home were she continued to be mentally and sexually abused again.  One of the boys in the home sexually abused her as well and even though she reported this to her social worker, nothing was done.  So she remained in this abusive environment until she got lucky and finally got adopted.

She did not allow all this to break her or shape how she felt about herself. Most people would have been ashamed and insecure instead she chose to speak up against rape and the injustices that are associated with rape charges.  Not caring whether this put a label on her, all she cared about was that people were talking about it. In her words “people don’t talk about rape until it happens to someone close to them” but by then the damage is already done. There she was openly telling us about a past that most people would do anything to cover up. She was bravely sharing in the hope of helping someone who was or has gone through something similar and bringing to light a human rights issue that society has done little to prevent from occurring and shys away from talking about.

When Rahilla told me that she wanted me to contribute to her self esteem series I was honored and very excited but for the first time I struggled with what to write. And then it suddenly occurred to me that Misty’s story is a perfect example of someone who according to society should have a low self esteem and self worth. Someone that should be depressed and hate all men but instead she is a strong woman, an amazing wife and an exceptional mother who inspires me to be a better person.  Reminding me that beauty is skin deep and that confidence comes from within especially when you know who you are.

She has shown me that no matter what society views as beautiful, we are all beautiful whether we are fat, slim, short, tall, white, and black. A person can use the hardest times in their lives to help others and bring about change like she is doing. Today Misty works as a Victim Advocate, at the District Attorney's Office helping people to overcome things similar to that she has been through.

You can meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you and then you meet one person and your life is changed forever. That’s exactly what she did. Misty’s strength, courage, fearlessness and big heart during her adversity is very inspiring. I think there is so much one can learn from her story.

Self worth comes from within. You have to make a conscious effort to accept who you are and be happy/comfortable with the person you are.  Yes people may put you down but when you have a strong sense of who you are, it would not matter what they say or think. Nobody can make you feel little about yourself unless you give them the power to. You are a beautiful and as long as you believe that, it doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks.

You can follow me on: http://bimpeoyewo-whatreallymatters.blogspot.com/

Love Always,
Daddy’s lil girl (Mbang) 


  1. that last paragraph to me is gold

  2. Mary Ann am glad it is.. Sometimes we forget that we don't have to prove anything to anybody but ourselves. And Mwajim, am glad i could contribute to your blog. Also, the comment about being "a champion of social justice" idk if i am yet but that's definitely where am headed. Thanks dear :)