For the past couple of weeks,
I've gone through a rush of varying emotions which ranged from a peak of elated
joy and happiness - you know, the kind you think will just never end, as though
you will never ever come down from such a high; to a trough of despair and
confusion - the kind where you think you are in the wrong place and maybe for
the wrong reasons. The trough was mostly me freaking out about my lack of time
for myself and slowly coming to the realization that I've chosen a line of training that of course demands time and all of myself and more time and more of me than
I would have liked to imagine. It's one thing to have thought of it abstractly
and another thing when your feet are drenched in it. However, as I sat in that
state, I made a mental note to have personal goals to accomplish through the
week, and amongst that was upping my G-time, literally that is how it's
written in my journal (personal time with God). In the midst of
my busyness, I've found that it's easy to spend 10-11 hours of my day in lab
or wherever your place might be and forget that there is a Sustainer that webs
the galaxies for His purpose... bends stars at His will and loves me so
passionately to die in my place... it's easy to forget that. In upping my
G-time, I was scavenging through Jeremiah, trying to feed off His breath of
words to my "supposed" trough. A couple of days ago, I came across
this:
4 This is
what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I
carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: 5 "Build
houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. 6 Marry and
have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in
marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number
there; do not decrease. 7 Also,
seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into
exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will
prosper." Jeremiah 29 (NIV)
So here are the Israelites in Babylon, carried away by King
Nebuchadnezzar, against their will. I can't even begin to imagine what that
must have been like - in the midst of so much confusion, despair and regret,
they were probably expecting to hear a word that God would send a deliverer to
propel them out of captivity. But instead, they hear the opposite. They are
instructed to: "Increase in number; do not decrease". I was
challenged by that verse. For some reason or the other, I have often found
myself standing at a cliff-hanger… almost like I think I’m in an intermediate
state waiting for something big to happen. I neglect the fact that the big is
happening now, like right now as I speak, walk, sleep, eat, talk, write… the
big is now! In my present state, I must find satisfaction and contentment in my
territory.
Note to self: I must increase.
Yes, I am blessed where I am. Even in my lack... even in what I don't have... I
must still increase. They were instructed to also pray for the city that they
were in, because if it prospers, they too would prosper.
Note to self: If your lab
prospers, you too will prosper. I don't even need to tell you what I started
doing next.
The next verse that came to me as
I considered things in my trough was Esther. Remember her? A girl who during
the exile of Israelites and the reign of the King of Persia, although an
Israelite, became Queen in a foreign land. A classic syndrome case of: from
grass to grace. My favorite line from that story is what her Uncle tells her
when he comes to her for help due to the verdict that was out that all Jews
should be killed. He said to her:
And they told Mordecai what Esther had said. Then
Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, “Do not think to yourself that in the
king's palace you will escape any more than all the other Jews. For if you keep
silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another
place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you
have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”
(Esther 4:12-14 ESV)
Esther
was brave enough to move from victim to victor. She was challenged to realize
that part of her bottom-line was happening now… not later. Not tomorrow or in a
few years… but now.
Note to self: I was born for such a time as this. My life, my
timeline... everything has been leading me to a bottom-line. Where I currently
am is part of my bottom line. Never mind the sweat. Never mind the tiredness.
Never mind the lack. Never mind the things I covet. All of my life has been
leading towards this... and even beyond what I had ever imagined. I was born for such
a time as this!
Now my next job is
sitting back and basking in that for… the rest of my life.
I
don’t know what you are in the midst of…
Busyness
or downtime,
Joy or sadness,
Abundance or
lack,
Pithiness or
Nebulosity.
Whichever the
case, bask in the fact that:
1) You must increase wherever you are.
2) No matter how your life came to be, or where you currently
find yourself - You were born for such a time as this.
Have a splendous week of ecstatic
joy and present contentment.
Love,
Mwajim
Al.
