*** P.S. long post alert. And, I’m back… Sort of :) ***
So… it is officially less than 3 weeks to my undergraduate graduation. It feels almost surreal because I can’t believe I am here. Castles may drop from the tallest mountains, and hearts may break and tears may be shed, it still doesn’t obviate the fact that I am here, and He is still God. A couple of days ago, my friend A and I were musing over the past five years. I was telling her about the very first day I came to UMBC. I came for my freshman orientation in June. Mind you I had accepted coming to UMBC without ever setting foot on the campus or knowing much about it (leap of faith yeah? Lol). Anyhow, I was staying at my guardian’s in Ohio, and he put me on a plane to Maryland, assuring me I’ll be fine as the Orientation officials would provide me with housing (no they don’t have housing for orientation). So I get here, present myself and tell them to give me lodging. They looked so shocked and worried as I explained my story and that I had nowhere to stay in Maryland. Needless to say, they ended up giving me a room in one of the apartments. Which was nice, I met two wonderful people that weekend and became more assured of my decision to come here. The following day sealed it for me – I knew this was the path I was supposed to take!
Five years later, if I had known the stress and hurdles I had to cross to get here, I don’t think I would have taken the same path. But that is the beauty of not knowing, you take a chance, a risk… a leap – you may fall into soft landing or you may land on the hard wood and crack into pieces – you never know. Regardless of where you land, soft landing or hard wood, I still believe the Orchestrator of all things holds that path in His hands.
I have three weeks left… so much to do in so little time. So much to feel with so little room… so much to reminisce over with buried memories… over the next couple of weeks, I will be closing one of the craziest roller coasters i’ve had in my little over 22 years of existence, and open the flood gates of more years of craziness. And for all the tears – bitter and cheerful, all the laughter – shared, alone or silent, all the pain – needless, annoying or worrisome, all the joy and happiness and peace and growth and waiting and contemplation and frustrations and mistakes and regrets and hellos and good-byes and friends and strangers and acquaintances… I am grateful. I honestly wouldn’t be the [Mwajim] I am today… and I wouldn’t be well on the way to being crafted into the wonderful [Mwajim] I am meant to be.
So I rise up in faith just like Job did and admist the reeling storm proclaim that although I am scared, “although He slay me, yet will I put my trust in Him”. And that for me my dear people is my story… the girl who lives on the side lines, staking it all… the girl who takes a gulp… and dives and still wants to keep her eyes fixated on Him despite the mix of emotions and festivities.
So tell me, How are You?
Feel free to drop in prayer requests in my comments, i'm trying to learn how to intercede for people :)
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