Monday, March 12, 2012

Self-Esteem Series 2: You, yes You - You are good.

My dear friends - D, M, A and I will be sharing our wonderful stories through the next couple of weeks of moments in times when we were pretty low and how He came through to remind us of truths that are solid irrespective of how we feel. I hope you read and enjoy and come back each week through the month of March to share in our testimonies.      

You can catch the first installment of the series here

Please sit back and enjoy the second installment of the series from my dear friend D.   
                                                 My Ash Wednesday, 2012

             Today, my day began with the best intentions in the world.
             I was joyful and happy to be alive. I made my to do list in my head which included fasting through the day with a 30 min prayer before I head out, catch my bus, be a bomb at work and then get to church at seven. Oh and let's not forget, read "Grace for the good girl" during intermissions of the day (awesome book y'all should read it).
             Anyways, first of all, I was late for my 30 min prayer and had to bold out of the door to catch my bus. No biggie right, i'll just pray on the bus, which I did. Work: the experiment starts fine (I am a researcher by the way) and my fasting could not go any better. First experiment - raging success, I pat myself on the back, high five the Holy Spirit and continue to the next one. I'm on fire. Then, my supervisor confirms that my previous experiment, similar to the one I am in the process of up was a raging success: "We got AWESOME data, Keep the good work going" She says... My self esteem is up a 1000X. God loves me and the birds and the bees all chirp and buzz in my favor!
            Ten minutes before the end of the experiment, the machine froze. This machine never freezes!!! It is almost 6:30p.m., the bus will leave and I will miss church. What is even more heartbreaking is that my experiment might be compromised. 10 minutes later and with a defeated attitude, I exit work. "Let me get a honey bun to break my fast" I thought to myself (I have been craving a honey bun all day). The vending machine did have a honey bun. But it was behind an apple dutch whatever and in order to get I would have to pay twice. I only had a dollar. I settled for some fruit snack instead (me not remembering the name tells you how annoyed I was). Everything had gone wrong. My plans thwarted.
            While walking to my bus stop it occurs to me that God is still God and I am still his servant. How does my day relate to self esteem? 
Well, I started the day full of myself but in the end I was emptied of me. And did I tell you I had to go through the day with a gaping hole on my shirt?!?!
I had the expectation of my supervisor, of the world around me and most of all, my self-imposed expectations to satisfy. But when did I ever consider the expectations of God which are to lay my burdens, these expectations of the world, at His cross and to rest? Our self esteem is shaped as Newton's third law, every force has an equal and opposite reaction. The world tells us we are not good enough,  but God tell us "I died for you". The world says you have a gaping hole in your shirt, God says "I have made you in my image and I said you are good." The world said you couldn't even meet your own expectation, God says "Stop expecting and start living in me."
             In God our needs are met, so why do we keep on expecting what we already have? We are beautiful because we were made in His image. If you say that you are ugly then you are insulting your God (oh noo u didn't). God loves you and knows your very core - the one you hide from the world. He still found you so worthy of His love that He made an entire earth for you to dwell, mates for you to chose, animals and plants to feed you, and as if that was not enough, He gave you eternal redemption with no fear of death. So when every honey bun is hidden by an apple treat that you didn't intend on having, and you are broken in your hunger with a gaping hole in your shirt and a so so experiment, dear friend - laugh and enjoy for the One in control has pushed you off the driver's seat and showed you that you do not drive that car, but you are a passenger - a beloved and well taken care off passenger.

Be blessed,


  1. Our self esteem is in Him and Him alone. Great post. Thanks to D.

  2. This is fantastic. Speaks well to me. A lot of times, circumstances are saying the negative but God's got our back

  3. wow! food for thoughts! thanks for sharing

  4. thanks for the posts on Self-esteem; its great what you guys are doing here :)