Five years to six years ago I was in the middle of change, flipping through from high school to college. I am back at the same cross road again, only this time, miles ahead and looking through the mirage ahead to graduate school. In the midst of change, it doesn’t help that I’ve allowed myself to be bottlenecked by trepidation and nonchalance and ingratitude. Little by little morphs of my old self swayed along by vices that I fear will make me forget the new and reconciled me resurface in ways that jolt me. As I try to steer strong handedly through the looking glass of the future that I know is not mine to predict, I feel the old familiar heart beat of anxiety… the old mumble of confusion… the old glare of despair… and it disgusts me to say the least.
Mover and Shaker that He is, in His own time has ordered my steps. Wonderful father that He is has kept me from day one of college to this very moment. Regrets along the way… yes! Reasons revealed slowly that make me see He has a plan… yes! Despite that and His blessings, I’ve successfully found a way to systematically show ingratitude… I mean its okay to be shocked at wonderful news… but to be shocked to numbness and to think of it with fear and to act as though the Lord did not grant me this joy? Wow… that my dear friends is ingratitude. I’ve been ungrateful, systematically trying to counteract good tidings as though He isn’t the originator… And of course, this has affected me in more ways than you can imagine… so more that I think I lack the spirit of joy… I even began to think I wasn’t a happy person. No more!
So it is with great glee that I will like to tell you that missus here has received invites to visit from a good fraction of the graduate schools she applied to!!! To say God is good is an understatement. And I would like to invite you to remember me in your prayers for strength, wisdom, composure, humility, favor and gratitude.
Till the next time - CIAO :-D
