Thursday, March 18, 2010

Dreams and Dreaming Dreams

People have different connotations to dreams. Some think there is a meaning behind every dream, like a foreboding of things to come, while others think it is simple a mental and visual reflection of things done during the day. And then there are others who just don't dream, and so don't know what to make of it. I dream a LOT! And am not talking of your everyday I-am-on-the-Bahamas-relaxing-in-a-castle-dream, am talking of the ones where you dream of your friend who has been away for months, and first thing tomorrow morning he/she is at your doorstep. It used to creep me out. It got so bad, I wouldn't want to dream of friends or family. I mean what if I dream of something bad happening to my family and I was miles away with no way of knowing their welfare? My Mother (God bless that Lady!) soothed my fears about this. She taught me to pray about every dream I had, be it good or bad... Its better being at ease knowing someone else who is greater than you has those issues in His hands.

However, there is another kind of dream, the one EVERYONE has. You may be a pauper, a bourgeoisie, an educated person, an illiterate etc... we all have that thing we think of day and night, it even materializes itself in our 'dreams' at night. For some it may be stronger than others, for some it may be worth little - it all comes down to it being universal. 
I used to dream of being an Airwoman Doctor. I went to an Airforce primary school, so you could imagine, all my thoughts and attentions went to flying jet planes s. I would watch the series M.A.S.H and the movie purple heart over and over again because it had military associations. I would imagine myself flying over dessert enemy war lines, flying down to the fallen war soldiers and treating them to the best of my ability. As could be expected, I wanted to go the Airforce girls secondary school. However, I missed the exam date. I remember spending the whole afternoon in the guest bathroom, crying my eyes out. My mum didn't know what to do, and owing to the fact that my dad wasn't around to talk me out of it, she had to get my uncle to talk to me. He was like: "You know there will be other schools right?" I don't know why I never seemed to accept the comfort of my mum :( That cheered me up, but with the uplifting of my spirits, went the dissolution of my dreams. I can't help but giggle as I remember that dream now. Me ke... I can't even fight! I wouldn't have lasted a day in that school or in that lifestyle!
I moved on. I still had being a doctor in mind. I dreamt of being a OBGYN. My mum really liked this idea. She would insert bits here and there of how there weren't enough female OBGYNs in the world, and how this would be a great service to humanity especially the woman kind. I liked the idea. I wanted to be of help to woman kind of course! So i imagined being an OBGYN. All i knew was that I could treat female parts and pregnant women. Then I watch a movie, can't remember which, but this woman was giving birth, and I thought of how much she screamed and how if i was such a doctor, all I would do is treat those parts all day long... I mean it shouldn't have been a problem, am a woman too... but nah! I couldn't wrap my head around it, and so died that dream! My mum wasn't too thrilled.
I moved on still. I wanted to be a pediatrician - that was so short lived. I couldn't stand children... probably because of the trauma my younger ones have caused me. My tolerance for children then used to be 0. That was when i knew i wouldn't be enthralled in that profession. I wouldn't know how my tolerance for children is now because I haven't been around any in a while (*closing eyes in fervent prayer* O God I pray i start loving children before its time for me to have them - I figure I still have plenty of time left!). 
Then came the turning point in my life. Its going to sound cliche, but Dr. Ben Carson's 'Gifted Hands' turned my life around. I wanted to be a Neurosurgeon. It made me dream bigger than I had ever hoped for. And I didn't see any obstacle that could be in my way of course. All I did was see myself at a destination point. All i did was envision myself being there. And so I worked on it. I hoped and prayed and wanted to get world class education that would lead me to where I needed to be...
Dreaming those dreams helped me imagine that nothing could hinder me from getting to where I need to be. And yet, there is nothing as life crushing and de-moralizing as those dreams not materializing... You have those dreams lined up, and each dream has numerous options. You might not get your first option, maybe you'd get the second or even the last option, but the point is that you still get your dream, just not the choice you wanted... It may be painful, but years later, you may find out that that choice you were left with to take was the best thing that ever happened to you! You still achieved your dream right, maybe not through the route you wanted, but think of it - that was the best thing for you! Any other route, and maybe you wouldn't have achieved your dream at all!

SO what dreams have you had that has changed over the years?


  1. Nice post. I used to dream of being a doctor too or a writer. The first one went away, I also put aside the second but I guess I'm living it now.

  2. lol. That's funny because that is my current dream... am doing a part two to this post as a follow-up. BTW, am in page 26 of ur book.... love it!!!

  3. I used to dream about being a psychologist...why???...I have no idea...I also used to dream of being an actress/singer/ everything....but now I'm open to what God has purposed for me :-)

  4. Yes definitely being open to what God has in store for me is still a struggle! lol at the idea of why you didn't know why you wanted to be a psychologist.