Sunday, September 19, 2010

my random convo with you

·      I finally crossed a healing threshold from stepping-out, and some news yesterday threatened to take me steps back… but you know what, God amazingly showed me His grace. I can forgive… I can let go… I can ignore flaws with wisdom because He has strengthened me to do so… Afterall, He forgives my flaws everyday. Who am I not to? So here is to freedom :D

·      (Sigh) I took the GREs on Friday (phew!)… YAY!!! I’m so happy… and blessed. No matter the outcome of my application process this fall, God is in control regardless. Mehn, the big Man up there has been turning stones on my behalf, and most of the time, we don’t see it, but He turns stones on your behalf too :D

·      I dragged God’s name in the mud on Monday. I did something so shameful… and there were repercussions… and I felt like the most condemned sinner in the whole world. I didn’t know how much my guilt had been gripping me, until Thursday night during my campus fellowship night. The speaker spoke on worship. She talked about how worship is a way of life, and it doesn’t matter how much we wish to ignore Him or how much we go astray, at the end of the day, our calling is to worship Him. I realized how much my guilt crept into my personal quiet time – I ignored my morning quiet time, I ignored my night quiet time and I walked around forgetting what the blood of Christ has already done to redeem me. And I forgot that… of course we always fall – always. I’m still being redeemed continuously. You shouldn’t forget that too :D

·      I think I’ve signed up for much more than a regular platter of serving as per my semester load… and yet, I must continue to remember that it is His grace that is sufficient for me. He has been carrying me mysteriously through with strength… amazing isn’t it? And yet, its still something great to thank Him for.. you know people have died of exhaustion. So never neglect to thank him for that 9a.m to 5p.m strength.

·      I went for a concert by the gospel choir at my campus last night. Some guy mentioned how anytime he doesn’t read the word he gets this hunger as though he hasn’t eaten. It reminded me of my point 3. No wonder I felt empty, as though I hadn’t spent enough time with a dear person in a while. I want to be always conscious when I don’t give Him my time of the day – just so that I’m constantly in tune with the fact that I need him. I want to continue to grow in my hunger and thirst and love for Him. You feel content with Him, always. And my prayer for you is to have that personal relationship with Him too you know… the ‘I-can’t-live-without-you’ kind. I want that too :D

o   Have a blessed week mehn :D And don’t forget that He loves you dearly. 


  1. I hope your GREs work out, all the best dear.

  2. That's what the devil does to us. He makes us feel worse than we should actually feel. Albeit, thats the time God needs us to draw near the most. David knew that secret and it distinguished him and Saul. We all have struggles, however, like God said to me one time, "son, don't stop coming".

    It is at his feet that we find mercy. According to Hebrews 4:16, "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."

    Don't stop going to the throne of grace Sis. God bless you.

    All the best with your GRE result :)

    - LDP

  3. @LDP: Yes you are right. Its only at His feet we find mercy... i'll keep pushing through. Thanks for the encouragement :D

  4. "A hunger as if he'd never eaten." It's so trueeeee.

  5. @Jaycee: I liked his analogy... it made sense :D